on my way

31 October 2006

I discovered some surprising things today.

[Paragraph on Alicia Keys has been deleted.]

Natasha Bedingfield is from Hillsong London. Kind of like a caucasian version of Sun. Cool beans, huh. The Miami Heat's Dwyane Wade, NBA Finals MVP of the 2005-2006 season, also follows such an example.

11:25 pm

I am very happy because of two things:

1. Chemistry practical was a breeze! Then again my qualitative analysis recording skills are kind of confused so I do not know if I wrote the right stuff for that part. Volumetric analysis was the same as the preliminary exams', except I did it with the precision of an AWP and the coolness of a... cucumber, this time around. How did I fare? Mrs Ang recorded an average titration of 24.9cc of potassium manganate while I recorded 24.8. Yessss.... (not sure if she's THAT accurate though)

2. I can sing Wang Lee Hom's songs! Do you know anyone who can do that? (apart from God, professional singers, Singapore idols, Superstars and guys with sexuality crises) Well, the peak of Forever Love's chorus still gets me sometime. But I am no sopranist, yes? I am a... uh... baritenor. I think. Something like that. Maybe baritone.

6:25 pm

30 October 2006

Who can you trust?
Who can you smile at?
Who can be your friend?
Who can love you?

(Not an emo post, just what leapt out of my mind at 1.30AM)

Now Playing : Natasha Bedingfield - Unwritten

1:32 am

28 October 2006

Whoa. It was so real. I had a fantastic dream. I dreamt that I was getting married. Yes, I know it sounds stupid. But I was extremely excited (in my dream). Have you ever heard of anyone's heart rate rising when they sleep? I think mine did. Who was I getting married to? Some girl with the surname Xie. The invitation card was writting so cursive that I could not make out the given name. Too bad I woke up before the wedding ceremony. ARGHHH.

I feel like getting married now.

10:43 pm

27 October 2006

Oh my goodness, what is wrong with my pores? I am oozing so much sebum I could fuel the house for a year. I better not stay out too late, lest I get mistaken for an orang minyak. Then again, those are black... I am just shiny.

10:09 pm

24 October 2006

Freedom, beauty, truth and love!

For those that do not find that phrase familiar, they are the main virtues of the Bohemian revolution - according to Moulin Rouge, at least. Ah, and they do coincide with what I want to have in my life. That said, real beauty comes only when you have the other three. I know how cliche that sounds, but it is true.

"But JJ! Aren't you taking away your own freedom by hiding from those that appear to threaten you? Aren't you lying to yourself when you claim you will easily make true friends next year? Aren't you killing the love that used to be in your heart with your arrogance and calculativeness?"

Yes, yes, yes I am, but only because I am immersed in the past so often. Soon, this suffering will end (yeah, I know it sounds like something out of a suicide note), and I shall hope to regain my innocence. Will the past catch up with me in my future years? Maybe. By then, I hope they will be there to protect me;

Freedom, beauty, truth and love...

Now Playing : Ewan MacGregor & Nicole Kidman - Come What May

9:59 pm

23 October 2006

Wow. I am dumbfounded. You mean all of you (that is right, it is not a single person) waited 3 years before you found out a Friendster account is not a measure of a person's charisma? Congratulations! You have just achieved (or is it reached?) Nirvana. No offence (or is it offense? My vocabulary has gone down the drain) to Buddhists, the subject here is not enlightenment but a community-type website.

Then again, if I have injected sarcasm into the paragraph above (I shall leave you GENIUSES to figure out whether I have), am I not a hypocrite? I mean, I knew it all along, but I have an account anyway. You see, I do not use Friendster the way you use Friendster. To me, it is simply a tool for making someone's day (or ruining it, if necessary... mwahaha), or for gauging an individual's personality. It is easy to figure out what kind of person you are reading about from the way s/he displays information about his/herself, as well as the pictures included with the profile.

Even so, I still prefer just talking or messaging someone. So much more personal. I get the niggling feeling that a handful of my peers are going to read this entry and totally vulgar-itise (told you my vocabulary is bad) my tagboard. Just like two years ago. Yeaaaahhh, you remember that huh, you vigilantes for communism. Get an open mind. I have one.

Footnotes: For those that DO have an open mind, please exercise caution when using it. You could be easily identified as a modern day allusion to a WITCH (philosophically, nothing to do with black magic). The sheep that do not know better would burn you on the stakes of their tongues since you do not agree with their way of thinking. Awful, yes?

9:46 pm

21 October 2006

I had a perfect day today, but you ruined it. You just had to, did you? You just had to take away the smile that God and Sister Serene worked so hard to put on my face did you?

I feel darned weak now. 40 pushups and 60 crunches and I am out. A shadow of my former self.

Now Playing : l'arc~en~ciel - Fourth Avenue Cafe

11:42 pm

A quote very roughly recalled from the Da Vinci Code, the least boring movie after Fearless released this year: "People tend to overlook what is right in front of their eyes."

No, it has nothing to do with conspiracies of dubious nature regarding Abrahamic religion. It has to do with every one of us. It was only last night when I was told that there would be [at least] two people who would stand by me. Two different people, of different gender, race, times, tongues and character. Normally, I would praise the infallible divinity of one of those two persons. But the very thing that sets that one apart from every other divine being known to mankind is that one's humanity.

So I would mention them in the same sentence, because they are both important to me (each to a different extent, but important nevertheless). In this dark, relentless world, the light of friendship shines brightly.

12:45 pm

19 October 2006

There is this place called Temasek Secondary School.
It is full of sheep.
Those who do not conform are blacklisted by the student society.
I do not conform.

I know what values are.
I do not act on them all the time.
Because I am a human.
But at least I try.
Not like you. (those who have been convicted at heart)

No, this is not a poem, in case you are wondering.

1:26 am

17 October 2006

Your cheeks are like tomatoes...

1:00 am

14 October 2006

Today is the 'official' last day of school for the TMS seniors. How ironic then, that I made this day so gloomy for myself.

I went to Temasek Junior College Open House. It is an ok place. It is kind of intimidating though. So I stayed for only half an hour. I went to Meridian Junior College after that. Suits me more. I saw 5A play street soccer with the JC2s. No points for guessing who won.

More importantly, getting a glimpse of my new life ahead, I realised, why have I been doing this? Will it make a difference to me when I move on? It hurts to just leave, like this, 4 years of... friendship? Was it really friendship? Have I made any friends in Temasek Secondary School? That does not matter, because it is the past. However, the damage is done. Some people say I have changed. I agree.

Perhaps, one day when time has healed all wounds (as they say), I will be that goofy smiling kid again.

I want to be that person again, but how can I? No one is willing to trust me anymore. Even though they were the ones who took it all away first...

12:00 am

11 October 2006

Autotheism is disgusting.

And please practice what you preach.

Now Playing : Jay Chou - Huo Yuan Jia

8:30 pm

09 October 2006

Thanks Sister Serene.

:]

6:22 pm

07 October 2006

I am sure people feel that I have become a jerk lately. Is it totally my fault? Some will say that it is my decision to shape my own character, that if I will be as I want myself to be. But if that is the case, why is everyone imperfect?

Anyway, what is done is done. I am a jerk now. It is reversible though. But no one wants to bother bringing me back. The gains for them are not enough to justify the time taken.

That brings me the one of my dilemmas. Should I achieve an aggregate adequate for Meridian Junior College, I will have to see many Temasekians. Now, I will leave you to infer the meaning of that, lest I get flamed to death by my rash and narr- oops, sorry. I am not allowed to criticise, since that will burst the lovely bubble of apparent togetherness everyone has.

I should have gone to TKSS or something.

9:53 pm

05 October 2006

Stupid emo poem by me.

Four years gone by too fast,
One month before the end.
These weeks are our last,
Each day we must carefully spend.

The hour fades away,
Minutes too precious to waste.
It takes seconds to say,
Words born in haste.

I always say I'm fine,
To those uncaring ears.
But this heart of mine,
Knows only tears.

7:25 pm

04 October 2006

Who would think that Ronin could write such a meaningful song? Ok, some of you do not find it really meaningful, but that is only because you all cannot relate to it. Do not give in to impressions. People are not what they seem. And never, ever take them for granted.

Ronin's One More Moment

Don't take too long to say
I love you to the ones you love
Cause time has a habit of slipping away

Out on the clear blue sky
When lightning strikes on a sunny day
Just take me in
And keep me from the rain

And the words that seem so hard to say
Come out when you've gone away
Just stay a little while and hear me say

That I want you here tonight
And I need you by my side
For just one more moment
For just one more moment... with you

Turn away to say goodbye
With each and every word that passes by
Like a distant memory

And time keeps slipping away
And time will turn to grey
And time will be the one who holds you down

And the words that seem so hard to say
Come out when you've gone away
Just stay a little while and hear me say

That I want you here tonight
And I need you by my side
For just one more moment
For just one more moment...

And I want you here tonight
And I need you by my side
For just one more moment
For just one more moment... with you

Sometimes time will treat you bad
Before you even know what's wrong
And in the end it hits you hard
Please tell me you'll be strong

6:42 pm

02 October 2006

退后 from Still Fantasy

天空灰的像哭过
离开你以后
并没有更自由
酸酸的空气
守住我们的距离
一幕醉心的结局
像呼吸般无法停息
抽屉泛黄的日记
找到了回忆
那笑容是傻气
你我的过去
被瞬时阵的忘记
缺氧过后的爱情
存心的眼泪是多余
我知道你我都没有错
只是忘了怎么退后
信誓旦旦给的承诺
全被时间扑了空
我知道我们都没有错
只是放手会比较好过
最美的爱情回忆里带去

6:12 pm

01 October 2006

Yes, heymrjj.blogspot.com is back.

Ok, it is not anything big. But just to let you all know.

Anyway, there was a class 4V outing yesterday at Tampines.
Go check it out at the 4Versatility blog.
I would just post the link here but I am lazy.
It is in the links section, so you can go there yourself.

Now Playing : Ronin - One More Moment

2:55 pm

Testing

2:26 pm