on my way

08 November 2006

This year, I have studied more hours than the rest of my years combined. Still, I am not studying as hard as other people. Is it enough? After all, I am "supposed" to be one of those people who just needs to look over a topic and understand it to answer questions or reproduce it on paper. But I am losing it.

Maybe because I despise the pursuit of intelligence now. Oh, do not get me wrong. Without intelligence we would all be vegetables. Unfortunately, knowledgeable people are all too often corrupt. I have seen it myself. A girl in VJC, with the lousiest attitude. The NUS student with genius IQ, convicted of fraud. A potential six-pointer, moral values so twisted. Please do not think that all smart people are like this, there are many of them whom I look up to (and I look up to people of good character, not intelligence). I only think that the proportion is bigger. But I can only comment. I am a very imperfect person too... but I KNOW it. And I try to improve myself. Of course, I cannot change overnight. But surely you can see the big difference in me from between 2004-2006. As for these people... well, I shall leave them for you to ponder.

Wisdom & Imagination > Intelligence
I would say that the happiest people on earth are those who are wise. An intelligent person can enrol into that top 5 JC, and then graduate and get admitted into SMU (albeit barely, because person in question cannot do GP due to narrow-mindedness), becoming a CEO of some big corporation before 35. But can that person be happy with just that? In the end, it is about success is it not?

After climbing the corporate ladder, becoming financially successful... emptiness will settle in. Life suddenly has no meaning, because all life has been is following the norm, just a mad rush for the top. AND FOR WHAT? Just so that when you mess up a relationship, it will not hurt because everyone else is there to lick your feet. I should tell you that you are disgustingly selfish, because a relationship has TWO parties involved. I have been so self-centred before. My former classmates would know. But I do say sorry. My pride is not big enough to sink the island.

I am taking an alternative route to life. It is risky, and I could become poorer than a church mouse. But at least I will know that I chased my dream. I will die poor but happy, or successful and happy. Either way, I will be happy.

In case there are any 4V-ians reading, I cannot pay for the class chalet. I am sorry, I do not have the money. And I am not being sarcastic!

9:39 pm