on my way

10 September 2007

I'm sick. Mild flu again.

I'm also sick. Sick of people thinking they know who I am, thinking they know my motives. Sick of being a commodity. Sick of being lied to. Sick of being the one taking all the blame. Sick of being caught up in problems that I had no part in creating. Sick of not having a reason to speak or SMS or type a single word the moment I leave school and go home. Sick of having my demeanour abused.

I keep trying to be nice and funny, don't know if I've succeeded. If I did, apparently I've been taken for a clown and an idiot with no skills.

Thank God for locking. Locking keeps me happy. It is a dance of celebration and cheer. Technique is important in all dances, including locking, but locking is special because character is the ingredient that brings it to the next level. You may have been trained by Shabba-Doo himself but if you don't have the innate joy and appreciation of others, the FUNK, then you're just another narcissistic wannabe who thinks he/she's so 'old school' just because it's LOCKING.

Contradictory it seems, I know. I seem like such an unhappy person, and here I am brushing off lockers with no soul. I want to be happy... but it's hard.

I really regret accepting the offer. I don't know why I did it. I think I'm better off on my own. At least I don't have to be some scapegoat so that the rest can go and gratify themselves on their sticky, saccharine friendship.

www.lifewithoutlimbs.org - a true inspiration. I want to be like him (not physically).

2:07 am