on my way

16 October 2007

Chris Brown. I never liked him. I first danced hip-hop to his songs, but I always felt he was a biter (of Usher mostly). Plus his voice has an annoying twang to it.

But when you can feel the music, the rhythm, the lyrics... the artiste doesn't matter anymore. I wish I could put all the blame on you, vilify you. I can't even look at you. I don't know what you want from me now. Maybe you don't want anything. "And I don't wanna see you cry, but I don't wanna be the one to tell you a lie so..."

You have to understand that I don't, either. Can we just move on? I want to just shout at you, that it was you who kept flaring up, even though I had my bad days too. No... I can't deny that I was pretty screwed up too. Yeah... it wouldn't have worked. We were childish. Maybe you thought it would have. "But you know this thing ain't been no walk in the park for us..."

Since those holidays ended, it's been school and dance non-stop, everyday, night and day. "I gotta make the first move 'cos if I don't, you're gonna start hating me..."

No, you never really understood me. I know you tried, but you couldn't. There were all those awkward silences. And you'd ask me to say something. It was already in me then, that I couldn't tell you what I felt. "Girl, I know your heart is breaking, and a thousand times I find myself asking 'why'..."

Let's just get on with our lives... I'll be honest. I feel burdened with you caring all the time. You had your chance back then, so just stop it. "But we know, that we gotta go, our separate ways..."

Maybe you think that I'm enjoying myself right now. Yes and no. I've learnt to enjoy what life brings, the cyphers, the songs, the scenery, the acquaintances... even though there's still this loneliness and sorrow of having no one to be there for me except the Creator. No, your concern won't help, because you're just looking at the tip of the iceberg. You're just trying to pull me out. But you're not understanding me. There are a lot more people around you that need the same care and concern... I'll be alright on my own. "There's never a right time, a right time to say goodbye..."

Now Playing: Chris Brown - Say Goodbye

1:38 am