on my way

27 November 2007

I actually slept at 9pm last night. I don't know why... not that I was more tired than usual. Maybe I just felt like switching off. Then I had dreamt a weird dream. It was kind of exciting actually, but it probably wouldn't happen for real.

I think I woke up in the middle of the night. Alone... no music... no one around, except Milk, who was cuddling up, taking up a lot of space. Somehow it felt good, just being alone for a while. Not having to be on my guard... not having to worry about what tomorrow will bring... it's so selfish of me to think that way. I guess since I'm so weird, it doesn't make any difference whether I'm alone or with a group of people whom I know.

It's not that I don't know what to say... it just seems like I'm speaking gibberish. Maybe I shouldn't have worked so hard at English since young. Maybe I should have played more with the neighbourhood boys. Maybe I should have gone to some international school.

Maybe... I'm just someone people love to hate. I do have this major character flaw which I kept an eye on for a while, and managed to overcome... but it's creeping back into my life now, among many other things. On hindsight, I'm such a jerk, and the reason would be a disappointment to people who stand by me.

11:59 pm