on my way

03 November 2007

Why can't we accept people different from ourselves? Why must we penalise each other so heavily for every tiny mistake we make? Why can't we just set it all aside and improve collectively?

Or are we just trying to make this a clique thing? Hoping one day the people we don't like now will just go away, and we can do our own thing happily...?

Finally, I locked a little in the studio today, after watching videos at the library. One particularly recent routine by Hilty and Bosch caught my eye... probably the "soul locking" that Danny has mentioned to me several times.

But it just feels strange. It feels like there's always people looking at me, questioning my every action.
"You think your locking very good is it?"
"Nothing better to do on a Friday evening so come here and take up space ah?"
"In the breaking group and don't want to sign up for Felix's PDP, still wanna come here and lock..."
"Never go and learn formally still want to show off..."
"Just stick to breaking, you're not really good at anything else..."

Maybe people think those thoughts, or say those things to each other concerning me. Maybe I'm just paranoid. Can I help it? Time and time again people have proven that I'm not worthy of their genuine interest and friendship. And from what I've seen, that kind of means I'm only worthy of being a doormat for them.

1:06 am