on my way

11 September 2007

Don't you dare claim that I'm not thinking. You know NOTHING about me either. I mean it.

2:48 am

I feel inspired and hopeful. My conscience is clear. Let's lock it up.

12:44 am

10 September 2007

I'm sick. Mild flu again.

I'm also sick. Sick of people thinking they know who I am, thinking they know my motives. Sick of being a commodity. Sick of being lied to. Sick of being the one taking all the blame. Sick of being caught up in problems that I had no part in creating. Sick of not having a reason to speak or SMS or type a single word the moment I leave school and go home. Sick of having my demeanour abused.

I keep trying to be nice and funny, don't know if I've succeeded. If I did, apparently I've been taken for a clown and an idiot with no skills.

Thank God for locking. Locking keeps me happy. It is a dance of celebration and cheer. Technique is important in all dances, including locking, but locking is special because character is the ingredient that brings it to the next level. You may have been trained by Shabba-Doo himself but if you don't have the innate joy and appreciation of others, the FUNK, then you're just another narcissistic wannabe who thinks he/she's so 'old school' just because it's LOCKING.

Contradictory it seems, I know. I seem like such an unhappy person, and here I am brushing off lockers with no soul. I want to be happy... but it's hard.

I really regret accepting the offer. I don't know why I did it. I think I'm better off on my own. At least I don't have to be some scapegoat so that the rest can go and gratify themselves on their sticky, saccharine friendship.

www.lifewithoutlimbs.org - a true inspiration. I want to be like him (not physically).

2:07 am

05 September 2007

Tired. Very tired. Physically. I can't rest though... there's so much to do, so little time. Indeed God will reward those who do good works away from the public eye. Sometimes I feel I could use some rest. Especially after 3 consecutive nights of three hour locking sessions each. Plus BREAKING lessons before that. And lectures. and then practice for the SOKA performance. But it's all good. This is part of my dream. Though the caveats aren't, of course.

I wonder if Chunky faced opposition when he started locking the way he does. It's definitely different from how Danny does it. Unfortunately, many local funkstylers nowadays only know Hilty & Bosch and the GoGo Brothers. And Faith Society Crew of course. These guys are dope of course. The cream of their respective crops. Then again, the scope's not only on these. There's funky guys like P-lock too.

Is it wrong for me to just sit by and watch while the rest of the non-funk (I mean this in a technical way) crowd get brainwashed into thinking that there's only one way to lock? Is it wrong for me to actually lock, AS AN INDIVIDUAL, differently from my fellow dancers? Is it wrong to at least acknowledge me as a locker instead of a three year old kid even if your lock fusion technique is extremely refined? Do you people even know what lock fusion is? Do you people even know who Don Campbell is?

Chunky is one of the very very very few normal human beings that I look up to. I wish one day I can, like him, enjoy and celebrate with other lockers the joie de vivre. That is what locking is about. It is a dance of celebration and bonding. Unfortunately, the times I lock in school... I feel like I'm having my O's all over again. No life, no funk, no JOY. Just move sharp and get the angles right.

If you can't bother reading all that stuff up there, remember this only: I am a locker. Please treat me like one - even if you're so much better.

Oh, thankfully there was some life at Studio Wu just now. Well, locking does that. I don't know why it doesn't affect some of those who have been doing it for (apparently) so long though.

3:41 am